laying it out; let’s just see if this can be done remotely; found a pretty cool printer (it’s a weird format)

one thing i really love about houston is that there is a very large art community, and you can get pretty decent art stuff done at a fair price; i did the recording today - it was done by my former tabla instructor, david courtney - this guy is really cool; i mean, he’s this white guy that is so in love with desi culture, he became a master in tabla, married a wonderful indian lady (she sings by the way) - and they tour together - they’re a really beautiful couple and i always enjoy visiting them and working with them; the first time i saw him he was like salamu alaikum, and i was in shock (hah, same way i must shock people who have preconceptions of myself) - but he’s pretty much adopted the culture and knows a bit of urdu too

it went pretty quickly - the worst part of any art endeavor is to actually look at it or hear it, see it, etc. after you’re done lol; you just sit there cringing, hearing your every flaw and hating yourself - but you have to push yourself past that as long as you gave it your all; and sometimes it goes back and forth - you’ll write something, hate it, come back and go, that wasn’t so bad! and on and on

it was pretty minimalistic (not like my previous stints with artistic recording) - just plain spoken poetry, with no embellishments, just some mild reverb and the standard vocal compression; i was cracking up when he played around with the equipment and changed my voice into a man’s (that is cool! i might save that for later lol) - in general his studio is in a separate garage (oh, the software he uses is called “garageband” - i’d never heard of it; it’s a mac only app), and i really love that place and all its equipment; but at the same time it’s very cozy

they’re really hospitable too with their chai and paratha, etc. - they’re just really great people you can check them out at http://www.chandrakantha.com

well, one piece of bad news is that this painting of mine from a long time ago was damaged in the hurricane that hit my parents’ house; it wasn’t great or anything, just an oil painting of a bangladeshi landscape, but still, it set a mood for me in my old house

but anyway, i must say that anyone who works in art will tell you - the best art creates itself; you just don’t know where it comes from; the best poems wrote themselves - i just held the pen and let it flow out of my brain; the best lines come out fully formed; and a long time ago, i had this one drawing - i am so stupid, for some reason i get it into my head every couple of years to throw out everything i own, so i actually got rid of this! but i miss him so much

i was 16 or so, i remember i had on this black sweatshirt, my long hair in my face, and sitting on my bed in my room - it was in the middle of the night (ever notice how all the greatest ideas you have are in the middle of the night) - and was sitting there with my sketch pad; now i am no “real” visual artist - i definitely have more idea than skill; what i lack in ability i make up for in style or concept; i dabble in everything, though, and i definitely enjoy it; well that one magical night it so happened that while doodling, i started sketching this man - he was so perfect, i can’t tell you; basically, he was at the side of the page, and he was staring straight at you; he was insane, and he had a lot of hair - a full moustache/beard, and his hair was fairly long and unkempt; he was middle-aged and basically came off as some crazy homeless guy (i remember seeing a guy sort of like that at a clinic once lol) - anyway, it was a cool picture, not only because of the reality of this guy but stylistically the idea was cool because his hair sort of represented his insanity and so i starting scribbling it in and it was like a cloud that meandered into the background - it actually took up more space than his face (this part i consciously did) - but the man himself - i really don’t know how he came about, because you see, i was really bad at drawing men (in those days i mostly drew people) - if i ever drew a man, he would just look like a woman with facial hair or something - but he was definitely a man, and quite real; he looked right at you and you felt you could actually see through his eyes into his world; it was so cool

anyway, i was for the millionth time lamenting his loss and wondering if i could re-create that for one of my drawings, but as anyone can tell you, if you ever try to re-create a drawing, it is a miserable sham and is never quite what the original was and it’s hopeless (unless, i guess you are a real artist and have enough ability to painstakingly recreate an original in a scientific fashion, but i’m not); so i basically decided to keep that as a memory and not attempt to do something i couldn’t do anyway, when i stumbled upon a very cool idea - and it was so awesome, but my concepts are usually way out there and very hard to pull off (i tend towards surrealism, because i find realism plain and purely abstract stuff absurd or pointless) - and of course nothing ever comes out exactly the way you want it, but i exerted myself enough and went with the flow enough (the life of the art itself) and was VERY HAPPY with the results! and it didn’t even take long, which is a marvel - i don’t know what anyone else will make of it, if they would find it competent or even interesting, because it is a very personal, symbolic piece for me, but i love it and i’m so happy and grateful!!!

well, i’ve had to deal with a lot of monumental changes/disasters in my life and it put off the work for a while, but i’m going back to it - it was grudging at first, to be honest, just dragging my feet - but i’m excited again (although just for the work itself; i don’t think i’ll be promoting it really cuz lol i hate people now) to be back to doing what i’ve been working on for over 7 years…

now let’s see if i can get cheaply to jerusalem with a camera - i dunno if i can get a good camera in the time i have left and with the money i dont have lol - also i tried emailing about permits but most people never get back, ever, on like anything, the incompetent fools, so we’ll see - and i heard the border closes early, like 2, so i might have to stay on the streets overnight, but i am hoping to just do a day trip - man, if i get deported i will be TICKED…

ahhhhh! i had the most hectic weekend ever - so some of the best shots i had were taped over after the police incident; maybe they rewound it after viewing or something lol; then i found out through experience (it doesnt exactly click until you do it) that man, you need a very fast computer with tons of memory to edit video; as difficult as the audio was (and even that is not mixed well), the video was worse since it rendered so slowly and was so choppy (on top of the filming after being called in by the police wasn’t so steady either lol since i was a bit nervous at all times at being taken in again - i really don’t care, but i had no time or money for that!); i couldnt get a WYSIWYG for the edits, so i had to estimate; it was “shooting in the dark” for a lot of it lol; also, the free programs, well, i’m not saying they’re not good in a pinch, but on top of a slow or corrupted computer, they have bugs (SAVE YOUR WORK OFTEN LOL - i lost so much raw, recorded, and edited data this weekend, it’s not even funny) - some of the bugs may include the program totally closing in the wink of an eye for no apparent reason lol - but i guess the craziest thing is dealing with all the different formats - multimedia is difficult enough, but multiformatting, which programs deal with which formats and which ones take this audio but not that one and which video extensions and importing and exporting, etc.!!! well, the upshot of all this is i have got some good, hard-won experience on my hands and can ask more precise questions to professionals on this; here’s the film - it’s not as good as i wanted it to be (nothing ever comes out the way you expect in art anyway) but on top of it it sucked that i had to replace some of my shot images with still images; oh well, live and learn, trial by fire and all that; but for little money, amateur equipment, sparse experience, and a very short time to do it in, i can’t complain too much…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ONp-lh8Uqg

so there’s this media-related internship i’m applying for, and they ask for a small film or podcast about amman; well, although i was working on my first short film, i figured, why not use this as an opportunity to make a smaller film lol (the deadline is in a few days, so the push is good for me to get it done by a specific time and be done with it); obviously my goal is to make this for myself, so i twisted their assigned subject slightly to something i would want to make anyway; that way, if i get it, khair, and if not, cool, i still have a video for my own purposes out of it, no time wasted; therefore, it goes without saying i wanted to do this as cheaply as possible (that’s usually my goal in LIFE lol, i get that from my dad, i think; i dunno why, there’s this satisfaction that comes from exerting yourself and saying - i got it down to x amount; a penny saved is truly a penny earned lol); so for all you amateur filmmakers out there (i include myself in this category), here’s a look at some useful ways of making an amateur film for practically nothing:

1. camera - i’ve borrowed a friend’s home video cam - can you believe i’ve never owned one or even used one?! i’ve had more experience with professional cameras lol; so you either have this or you can easily borrow it (FREE)
2. tape - some cameras use digital memory and can be uploaded directly, but the one i got uses mini dv (5 JD ~ 7.5 USD; i believe they sell them cheaper, but i was pretty exhausted by then and took this guy’s price; you can probably get it down to 2-3 JD)
3. tripod - if possible, just place the camera on a surface and stack up sturdy books until you can angle it properly for the shot you want - i used my balcony and some computer and literature books (all very thick); for shots on the go, they have the little hand strap which isn’t as good of course but with some practice you can still get it fairly steady (FREE)
4. dolly - again, not as good, but you can get a makeshift dolly by using a car; i was in a cab, so it went pretty fast, but you can get some good seconds and another few seconds of a cool “effect”, the blurred bustle of the city going by (FREE)
5. content - a city like amman is pretty diverse and you can get very nice stuff for free; only thing is, if you look like an irhaabi like i do, be careful of filming without a permit, but especially governmental buildings and such (lol i dunno how i get myself into these situations, but i got taken in for questioning when i took a shot of a kids’ school! but there was no way i was gonna apply for a permit just to take local, random shots from a home video cam! i also made the policemen give me a ride to the station lol; i think they were actually trying to save me from the embarrassment of “taking me in” - it was already annoying cuz all the teenage guys were right there, watching us - but i certainly wasn’t going to pay for it! this totally cracked up the jordanian friend i borrowed the camera from - she couldn’t get over this lol); anyway, i’m a strong believer in creativity and believe the blessing of being broke is it forces you to think outside the box for interesting shots and effects, ways you can “class” up your cheap little amateur production lol; i believe i’ll use b/w as that is usually better if you don’t have a great camera or controlled lighting, and would be suitable to this particular project; but i’ll decide after i see what it looks like in the editing process; you can obviously interview people for free, but my project isn’t individually centered so didn’t apply to me (5 JD for cab rides across town and back; i did walk around a lot too for the more local stuff)
6. microphone - most home video cams do not have an external mic, although you can probably put one in; since most of them are not at all focused on sound as much as picture, it’s best to do the soundtrack separately (the style i have usually requires this anyway) and i heard from the filmmaking guy that even many big, commercial productions are starting to put ALL of their audio on another track that is recorded separately (this includes dramatic screams, dialogue, etc.!); again, for this project, i just borrowed a basic mic from someone (the kind you skype with lol) and will just input it directly into my computer; obviously, you want your setting to be quiet when you record and preferably be insulated - i’ve sat in closets; audacity is a free audio editing software (decent name, lol, decent prodcut) (FREE)
7. conversion - i haven’t done this yet, but i have HEARD it is for 3-4 JD; i’m planning on 5 in case to get the raw footage onto a dvd; i’ll then upload it to my computer and edit it and burn it onto another dvd; the first blank dvd was free from the internship place, but the second one will probably be included in the price for the conversion; blank dvd’s are like 5-10 qirsh each (5 JD)
8. editing - i have had pretty good luck with free software for audio, so i did a search for good video editing software; i found a top 5 list which seemed reputable, and found wax (which i think is an AWESOME name for a video editor; i put a lot of stock in names lol - i figure if you can be creative and clever in naming your product, you usually have something good - think of all the best bands for example, they usually have good names, no?); it looks really promising since it started as a college product, but we’ll see tonight/tomorrow when i begin; of course most of you probably have a laptop and internet connection; i usually only have internet at work, but our neighbor let us borrow this portable internet thingy which is very cool, and so if need be, i can dig up some images or sounds if need be for last-minute inserts; i’m focusing on cost here, but it goes without saying before you do ANYTHING, you should storyboard out your ENTIRE film, dividing your paper in half and putting your audio track on one side and your video shots on the other, down to the minute and second; this film is only 2 minutes long, tops (FREE)

well, it’s a lot to do for a part-time internship (with pay) and due to certain reasons i doubt i’ll even get it, but the cool thing is for 15 JD i can have something i would actually like and can use; if i do get it, it would be good for some seed money for the other “real” short film i wanted to make!

so im in the process of finishing up the artwork for the poetry album - what i really need now is access to video equipment! i want to include a short film (about 5 minutes long) and i would LOVE to take the footage myself - only issue is money lol (that and access to what i want to film) - we’ll see, i might have to use stock footage (ugh) - also i sent out some demo “solicitations” for the demo i made a LONG time ago (before i got married lol) but that’s always a backup (not the other way around, as with most people who submit stuff) - in the mean time, i’d be happy if i finished the film and did a small tour of readings before i left amman…

Well, the initial NM campaign is over and it’s time to focus on the next project - a multimedia poetry album, which was started years ago (subhanallah, so much time has passed and so much has changed, and yet it’s funny how you always go back to your roots).

The writing is 99% done - there are about 20 poems and writing ranging from my single years until now - once in a while I still have an errant idea or so for a new one, but my method is to write as it strikes me and if it can last for a few weeks, it’s “in” (as opposed to those throw-away passing thoughts you have).

The artwork is about 75% done, and the audio was recorded years ago (I might add a few spoken word pieces without any beats or enhancements, just plain voice). I might throw in a wild card or 2, though, which would be in film format, so we’ll see.

Anyway, it’s very soothing to go back to work on this - at this particular point in my life, I pretty much abhor human contact (more than normal lol)...

OK, I’ve had people review the book (so far so good), and now I am desperately trying to find an agent (or at least a contact of some sort in the publishing industry)! I intended this book for the mainstream American audience, but guess what - it seems lots of Muslims need this book too. It’s confusing for many nowadays with the issues on faith, allegiance, secularism, state obedience, loyalty, brotherhood, etc. I’m also revising bits due to my sister Aisha, who told me that I write like Gabriel Garcia Marquez lol - the guy who writes sentences a page long (literally). Anyway, a sister told me that she worked for some think tank and they had a million applicants but they just ended up going with a friend of a friend - you know, the whole networking thing I’ve always heard about. Seeing as how I haven’t heard back from agents (at the unknown entry level) except for a few who said NO, I freaked out and was like yah I need to contact all my old professors (I’m a total dropout though) and anyone else in the media I know, etc. (I admit, I’m impatient - it’s been like a few weeks) - but I don’t know, every time I think about it I get a headache lol - plus some people are like can we use parts of the book and I’ve passed it on to so many already - I feel like paranoid or something - that by the time it’s out someone will just use the title (it CAN’T be called anything else!) or something similar etc. So any one of you, please, I suck at networking - I have enough contacts, but I’m too antisocial frankly to be really good at it - if you have any leads let me know!

Thanks!

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Translations of the Quran should not be done for the sake of translation but the sake of communication. The Quran is the final revelation of God to mankind and it is the duty of the Muslims to make sure every human being has the opportunity to know it. Thus translations should be undertaken to serve a specific purpose in this regard.I began translating the Quran simply because I did not find a translation similar to it, and furthermore felt it was a necessary alternative which ought to be available. There are already many excellent translations. Yusuf Ali’s is a classic, as well as the ones by Pickthall and others. What I feel is the shortcoming, not in the translations themselves but for the English speaking audience, is that often the words are too elevated. It is difficult for the average English speaker to understand some of what is written and it requires education, or at least a dictionary on the part of the reader to comprehend much of what is said. As for modern day translations, they are usually much simpler and more direct and this is indeed an advantage. Still comprehension of the message is often obscure. My father recently translated the Quran, not as a literal translation, but a translation of meaning. This is because it is often difficult for English speakers, and moreso for Non-Muslims specifically, to understand what Muslims understand or what Islam intends by some of the words or phrases. For instance it is made clear that God is One although the Quran may refer to God in the royal plural form. In fact many Non-Muslims have told him that it was one of the first times they could understand the Quran.My personal relied upon favorite thus far has been “The Noble Quran” by Al-Hilali and Khan. I felt it struck a good balance between simple language and elevation. Yet the drawback here is that it heavily utilizes tafaseer, in fact, it is written on the cover that it is the “Interpretation of the Meanings” with sources from the classical books of exegesis. This is good for a Muslim in terms of more exact understanding, but is challenging to a Non-Muslim who is simply trying to read and understand this “Quran” that they have heard of. It is disruptive to continually interject by saying “All praise is for Allah (and explaining in detail who Allah is each time He is mentioned), Lord of the ‘Aalameen (and keeping some Arabic words left intact, with the specific meaning and connotations explained).” It takes away from the ease and flow for a beginner.Therefore, what I wanted was a translation for a specific purpose - to render into English the revelation of God to mankind in simple yet eloquent language, displaying the power and beauty of the words and phrases, the Message He has given all of us, while presenting it in a spare, tasteful format which enables the reader to feel they are reading what was revealed, to feel the connection through the words. It is also simply a beautiful book anyone, atheist or deist alike would enjoy reading due to its own merits of language and wisdom. At the same time, it is not for the merely poetic or literarily inclined but for those who do believe in religion and consider it to be
sacred and containing mysticism as well as morality.To enhance this particular style I basically decided upon a very simple, ascetic cover with no explanation. Yet the words have been kept true and direct to the reader. It is also organized in such a way that the passages are coherent to the uninitiated, who may not understand that the verses were sent as parts and for example that the entire chapter of “The Cow” may not actually be about the cow only, that it is revelation and reminder, not a novel or textbook. It is also numbered in a style common to books of poetry and literature for a balance between a book of reference and study, and a book that simply flows with a message.Inevitably the question of my qualifications will arise and I will be frank. I am not a scholar. I am a student of religion, the study of which is a guideline for the message of Islam as derived from the Quran, I understand basic Arabic and am familiar with its function and style, and I have mastery over the English language. Therefore, I did not simply sit and translate on my own. I relied upon those works already translated, dictionaries, exegeses and other tools to derive a unique translation as literal, correct, and appropriate to the original Arabic that I could, and thus to put forth the best possible rendering for the objectives I mentioned above. Most Muslims, when speaking to non-Muslims about the Quran, often paraphrase or put forth a meaning that seeks first and foremost understanding from our audience. This objective is paramount to any translation, whether an official one, a scholarly one, or a layman’s spontaneous attempts.I pray Allah accepts this deed for His Sake and that it brings much by way of benefit to the people. I pray it is a small contribution to the responsibility of
communication between God and man which Allah has placed upon our shoulders after the Angel Gabriel and the Prophets, peace be upon them.

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This is the remnants of a multimedia poetry album which I began about 4 years ago. The entire name was too long to put in the title:

sociopoliticoethnoreligiophilosophicoschizo

I don’t know how far it’ll get here, as my main audience before was a bunch of artistic weirdos of various backgrounds, mostly non-Muslim. I can’t really see “religious” people going for it, and I can’t really see the Muslim community going for it (like in a major way, even though there’s the odd person here and there who likes it), but I also don’t think I can continue to put it out through the indy market, although that’s clearly where it belongs, because I just don’t have the time it takes to build it up through that venue. Plus I’m in Jordan lol. So I figured we’d just release it as a memory of that time and go on from there. We’ll see, it’ll inshallah be IN Production’s second release after the NaseehaMan comic book.

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I just finished a book called “Islam is a Religion” because I got tired of answering the question, “Aren’t you hot?” Watch for it - I’m going to try to publish it through the biggest companies possible and then progressively go down as I find no one will publish it! If all else fails, we might put it out through IN Production. But it may just end up here lol. Maybe it’s just as well. One part of it (which will probably get the most attention even though it’s not one of the major points of the book) might even get me arrested.

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